by IABA Team | Dec 6, 2022
Some teens with autism will opt to continue their education at college. Going to college is a huge decision (both financially and socially) for any kid, and doubly so for kids with autism.
What do kids with autism need to do to ensure a successful college education? Is it different from that of a neurotypical kid? Let’s take a look.
Social Planning
People with autism can have social difficulties, especially when it comes to making time for social events and picking up on cues given in social situations. Planning ahead for these situations can make them a bit easier.
Scheduling events well ahead of time is a great way for teens with autism to remember that a special event is happening on a given day. Having a peer buddy can also help with social situations–someone to help ease the burden of deciphering neurotypical social actions, expressions, and cues.
Organization
Keeping your schedule, materials, and living space organized are keys to success in general. Making sure a college student with autism is organized can help them thrive in a purely academic situation.
Make sure to have detailed calendars ready before each month starts. Have specific places for all books, materials, and other needs. Schedule a specific time to clean and reorganize anything that needs it. Taking steps like these can help college students with autism stay organized and ready for class.
Planning for the Transition to College
College is a huge change to the lifestyle of every kid who decides to go. Making sure your child knows what the transition entails is crucial to their college experience.
Even teens who attend local or community colleges and live at home will need to know what to expect academically. Most college programs entail long classes/lectures and looser work/homework schedules than K-12. Making sure your child knows that school is about to change is a very important step towards a successful transition to college.
Preparing for Independent Living
Kids with autism heading off to college and not living at home need to be prepared for the rigors of daily living. No mom & day or other caregivers will be around to help during most days. This means that preparations need to be made and expectations need to be set.
Make sure that your child has a full list of what they will need to do in college. This includes things like:
- Eating (times and what is being eaten)
- Sleeping (scheduling is necessary)
- Cleaning & Organizing
- Laundry
- Knowing what to do in outstanding situations (class cancellations etc)
- Having emergency contacts and knowing when to use them
College and University Academic Support
Many colleges and universities offer academic support programs for students with disabilities and special needs. A great way to learn more about this before applying or even enrolling in college is to speak to a high school counselor. Many counselors for upperclassmen will be familiar with available programs and can help gather information about prospective schools.
College admissions counselors are also able to answer questions about the university they represent. Be sure to call and ask questions about academic support, programs, and modifications to learning curriculums for students with special needs.
ABA Therapy from IABA Consultants
If you have questions regarding autism treatment, education, or plans to use ABA therapy, we are here for you! Our goal is to make sure no family is turned away due to financial constraints. Our therapy team would love to talk to you. Find the location closest to you and give us a call. We’re here for you.
by IABA Team | Nov 29, 2022
If your child is in need of ABA services for autism, you should have no shortage of service providers to look at. Not all ABA service providers are created equal. Asking specific questions in your interview with any potential ABA provider is the best way to determine if they can help with your child’s needs.
Here’s a list of questions you should ask in any interview with a potential ABA service provider.
Interview Questions ask ABA Service Providers
How Many Hours of Therapy Does My Child Need?
This question will have a different answer for every child, as each child has unique needs. A BCBA should be recommending hours for your child–not the company or corporate policy. If you are considering a care provider who has ‘set times’ for programs, your child may not receive the correct amount of time for their needs.
Does Your Program have Behavior Requirements?
Some behaviors and issues will need to change over time, but forcing the issue through strict programs or adherence to certain behaviors is not the way to go. Be sure to routinely check your child’s program and progress if you think any requirements of the program are too strict.
ABA therapy works to help people with ASD adapt to neurotypical social norms. Having strict requirements to not allow normal ASD behaviors may lead to unnecessary behavioral challenges with many people.
Can I Observe the Program or My Child in the Program?
One of the most important aspects of ABA therapy is continuing a program at home. Information should always be available on how your child is progressing. If an ABA service provider refuses to share information or allow observation you may want to take a closer look at the program.
Daily records should be available to parents if they want to know what is going on in treatment. If an ABA service provider is unable to share information, it may be time to take a closer look. Quick note: information and records may take a few days to be logged, each clinic is different.
Do You Develop Plans Separately for Each Child?
In order to get the most out of ABA therapy, each child needs a custom-built program. ABA programs built on general needs will not help each child enough to address specific behaviors and needs
If you are presented with a brochure of programs or therapy ‘packages’ mentioned in a consultation, you need to really look at what is being offered. More often than not your child’s needs will not be met with a universal ABA therapy plan. Package deals for ABA therapy are not actually ABA therapy. Proper ABA therapy programs need to be individually created for each person.
ABA Therapy from IABA Consultants
If you have questions regarding autism treatment, education, or plans to use ABA therapy, we are here for you! Our goal is to make sure no family is turned away due to financial constraints. Our therapy team would love to talk to you. Find the location closest to you and give us a call. We’re here for you.
by Jessie Cooper | Nov 24, 2022
Sometime in September, I was introduced to the best-selling author Dr. Becky who recently authored the book “Good Inside.” I am trying to remember if it was on a podcast from one of my soul teachers or if it was from a friend as I complained for the millionth time about a tantrum. I honestly don’t know. It wasn’t the tantrum itself (OK sometimes it’s the tantrum itself), but it was the fact I didn’t feel I was in alignment with my own peace at the time. Last week I wrote to you about honoring your peace yet I was struggling with my own peace when my sons became dysregulated as all children do.
Of course, there are moments when I yell, when I mess up, and wish that I could have done something differently. All parents do. However, it wasn’t that I felt out of control around my children or that I was harming them in any way that made me feel out of my peace. I simply felt that there was a better way to navigate their big feelings without constantly leaning on discipline. I couldn’t find my peace in the thought, “I should be in control of my children” or “my children need to be good.” Each and every timer I set for a time-out didn’t feel like growth for them or parenting. It felt miserable. Enter Dr. Becky and her brilliant work.
Everyone Is Good Inside
In her work, Dr. Becky has one core belief she shares with her readers, “everyone is good inside.” This concept on paper felt validating of my own belief and it also triggered a lot of fears. You see holding the belief that everyone is good inside left me in relationships, extended family, and social groups well past their expiration date. Up until my early thirties (I’m 35 now…a newbie) I gave pretty much everyone a free pass while holding this belief. In creating the boundaries that have led to regaining my peace I created a new boundary to stay away from people behaving in harmful ways. Reopening this boundary felt like a hard no for me. Nope. Not doing it. But, when I look at my darling son’s faces, I know in my soul that Dr. Becky is right. We are all good inside.
Lucky for me, Dr. Becky doesn’t stop at the belief that we’re all good inside. She builds on it and teaches us how to create boundaries for our children. This felt like a relief because while it doesn’t address the boundaries I’ve built in my own life, it validated the need to uphold safety at all times. As I dove into her work and began practicing it at home a wave of peace came over me.
Dr. Becky teaches that when young children are throwing fits, having tantrums, or saying unkind words, it boils down to the fact that they are dysregulated. Not that they are disobedient, disrespectful, or bad little kids; they are good humans having a hard time. She then goes on to talk about the importance of being a sturdy leader for your children as they are dysregulated which means keeping their bodies safe. Contain the fire! Tell your children that they are allowed to feel their feelings, to disagree with you, to rage… but it is your responsibility to keep them safe.
Narrating Your Child’s Big Emotions
When the waves of dysregulation slow and my sons are able to calm down I have always talked about emotions to give language to their experience. Dr. Becky also validates this practice and writes about the importance of narrating to children their experiences after their big emotions have settled. This tiny step is the foundation of teaching children to keep their peace and that their big emotions do not define them. Instead, their big emotions are simply part of being human and they need help learning how to express them. I believe that this tiny step builds shame resilience, which in our home is a core family value as we follow the teachings of Dr. Brene Brown.
It has been about two months since I picked up “Good Inside,” and began shifting my own practices as a parent moment by dysregulated moment. I replaced time out with a “do it differently spot,” where we sit and breathe through the waves of big emotions. I began narrating what happened before the boys fell into a fit. Narrating, “you really wanted a waffle, and mommy gave you a cinnamon roll, that was tricky.” I also narrate when I am having a hard time so they do not assume any responsibility for my own stress and develop codependency. “The Pumpkin Show was loud, you wanted toys from the games we couldn’t win, and got stuck in the funhouse. Mommy was having a hard time too.” After the waves of emotions settle for all of us we settle down and I repeat, “wow, that was hard, how can we do it differently next time?”
I am not going to lie to you. You might think as you read this as you enter my house you will inhale lavender, soft music will be playing in the background, and we will all be calmly navigating our emotions while honoring our peace. Some days it is quiet here, but we are after all human, and big emotions are well known in the walls of our farm. This past Sunday by 9 am my children had broken each other’s block house, changed into two different costumes, had a do-it-different moment for hitting, requested face paint, played Candy Land, the dog got out in the back pasture, and tears flowed readily. I was short on patience and could feel myself getting snappy. At that moment I asked myself, “what are you choosing above your peace?” It was the age-old narrative that parents should be able to control their children. No thank you, not interested. I want to raise good humans who can make choices that are right for themselves and their world.
At 9:05 I called a family time out, asked Henry to pick 10 good books, and we piled into my bed to read. “Wow, that was a lot, we’ll feel better if we can sit down and do it differently.” Book after book, kiss after kiss, we settled back into our peace. I am sure later in the day someone cried. Tree climbing and being stuck is a common theme around here. But, we held our peace after having a hard time.
Dr. Becky was the reminder I needed that when children are having big emotions it’s not a problem. The problem is missing skills and the need for boundaries. It’s Applied Behavior Analysis paired with emotional regulation. The combination at least in our home is the foundation for raising good humans in a way that brings me back to my peace, moment after parenting moment.
Xoxo,
Jessie Cooper
by IABA Team | Nov 22, 2022
After-school programs can be a great option for both kids and their parents. Children who show an interest in a given subject or activity will always want to engage in more of it. Parents who need a bit more childcare or want to try to introduce new things to their children will also be interested in finding after-school programs.
Finding a great after-school program for children with autism, however, can be a bit more challenging. Many standard after-school programs are not set up to handle certain needs of children with autism. So, how can you find a great after-school program for children with autism?
Know Your Child’s Needs
When you start looking for an after-school program for a child with autism, you need to know that child’s needs. How are they with new things and changes in routine? Do they have extreme sensory sensitivities?
Answering questions like these can help you determine which programs will work and which won’t before diving into more research. Some children with autism will thrive in after-school programs designed for neurotypical children–it all depends on the needs of that individual child.
Talk to Your Child’s School or Autism Service Provider
Before looking at programs online, talk to your child’s school or ASP. Many autism service providers offer after-school programs and activities. If you’re looking for programs specifically built for children with autism, this is the best place to start.
Having a conversation with your child’s teacher or therapist can also allow you to ask about specific programs. Outside of being able to recommend after-school programs in general, your child’s teacher therapist can recommend programs that your child would do better in. Getting a personal recommendation is always better than reading reviews or information online.
Look Up State-Sponsored Programs
State-sponsored programs, along with county- & city-sponsored programs, can be a great way to start the search for after-school programs and activities specifically designed for children with autism. Statewide (or even nationwide) programs will give you the information you can use to search for programs more relevant to your child: local programs.
When you start the search for local programs, make sure to talk to your child’s school or the school district. Many schools or district websites have lists of programs and activities designed for children with different needs. If you can’t find something on a website, be sure to make a phone call. Talking to a representative is the best way to find out if they offer a program suited to the needs of your child.
ABA Therapy from IABA Consultants
If you have questions regarding autism treatment, education, or plans to use ABA therapy, we are here for you! Our goal is to make sure no family is turned away due to financial constraints. Our therapy team would love to talk to you. Find the location closest to you and give us a call. We’re here for you.
by Jessie Cooper | Nov 17, 2022
Waiting for Life to “Go Back”
Somewhere this fall I realized that we’ve all been waiting for life to “go back” to the way it was before COVID-19. That our country and world are so inundated with stress that we have been holding on to this desperate thought of nostalgia. That if things could just be like they were before our stress would melt away and we could all breathe a little. As I watch my own life and my loved ones collectively navigate what seems like tragedy after tragedy I’ve finally come to realize that waiting for stress to leave the external world isn’t going to happen as much as I would like it to. The only alternative is to seek peace, firmly plant ourselves, and say, “not this,” to everything that steals us from our own integrity, and “darling I am so sorry,” when tragedy strikes.
Exactly two years ago I made a vow to myself to never abandon myself for anyone else again to honor my own peace. In theory, this felt like an easy choice, I would stay true to myself no matter what life threw at me. At the time I had no idea of the monsoon that would come with my divorce or the continued challenges of running a company through COVID-19. I also didn’t realize that staying true to myself didn’t just mean on a large scale, it meant small choices each and every day that allowed me to stay in integrity with myself. I’m going to be really honest with you, if I was being graded on this I would probably get a C- at best. Trying to make the right decisions in a social world, through a divorce, and as the head of my company is no easy feat. Or, if we try that again, making the best decisions for myself as a human being is no easy feat.
Why? You might ask. Why would it be hard to say yes to yourself above everything and everyone else? Well, in short, shame, fear of disappointing others, not feeling like enough, and oppressive systems (Ok society) come to mind. I don’t operate in a vacuum and neither do you. Staying true to myself in my home, where no one else is with me is easy. I can tuck into my house for days, ignore all texts and calls, and do what my loved ones now dearly call, “hippie shit.” I’m in total bliss as I’m lighting candles, saging the home, working on a new recipe, or watching endless comedians with kittens (ok, ok, they were free…) curled up on my chest. Life is good, I’m one with myself, and at peace. But then, inevitably, at some point I have to come out of this bubble of bliss. Most of the time for my children, in a choice to see people I love, or for my own work. When I come out of this bubble staying true to myself isn’t always as easy.
The World is On Fire
As I peeked out of my cocoon of peace, initially my thoughts were, “the world is on fire,” we just need to wait for this to be over, and then I can be at peace. Then, in the spring of 2022, one of my clinics actually had a literal fire and now I’ve banned the words, “fire, or dumpster fire,” from the company. The world seemingly continues to hand my loved ones and I an extremely hard deck of cards. For years we’ve all been waiting for the stress of the world to go away and now I think we’re all just holding our breath for the next thing to happen. No wonder I like my Netflix, kitten, and wine cave so much. But, in the last few weeks as more tragedy befell my loved ones (and after a night laying on the floor surrounded by candles, Dametrius peeking in, “do you want ice cream?”) I realized that it’s not what comes for us, it’s who comes to us and the kindness we can give to our own hearts no matter what.
We can’t stop tragedy and hardship. Yes COVID was a big one, but the amount of loss I’ve watched my loved ones live through, as well as myself, can feel unreal at times. In those moments it’s not the fear of pain that will carry us through, it is the willingness to be carried with the love of others until we can give that love to our own hearts. To know that no matter what life throws at us, we are worthy, whole, bruised, but not broken, and are simply doing our best at this thing called life.
The challenge for me is this: if the world isn’t going to get easier simply by waiting for it to “go back” or for COVID to “be over” how do I continue on the path of choosing my own peace? How do I stay in integrity above all else?
I’ve come to accept that pain and tragedy are part of life and I cannot avoid it coming for me or my loved ones. This type of tragedy is what the natural world brings to us, it is loss at its core. I’ve also come to accept that when pain and tragedy come because of anything in our social world I have a choice. I can either choose to stand by or back and allow myself to either contribute to the problem or I can turn away and choose a different way. Choice by choice, as social problems present themselves to me I can choose to say “not this” over and over again until I find my path back home to my peace.
Our world has hurt and it is hurting. Waiting for peace won’t happen, but choosing peace is possible. It’s not the easy path to say no to everything that does not serve you, to say no to injustice and greed, but each tiny decision that allows you to say yes to your own soul is one more tiny U-Turn (Tara Brach) back to your own peace.
As you navigate these choices for yourself and put down all that does not serve you, start with this little question “what am I choosing above my peace?”
Xoxo
Jessie Cooper
by IABA Team | Nov 15, 2022
Transferring from school to break and back again is hard for every child. The changes in schedule and routine are a lot to handle. This goes doubly so for children with autism.
Children with autism have more difficulty than neurotypical children when it comes to understanding and accepting changes to routines. With Thanksgiving and Winter break coming up, we decided to take a look at some great ways to make school schedules easier for children with autism to understand.
Developing Priorities
Developing priorities can help make life easier for autistic children in school programs. While priorities can start with little things, they can gradually start focusing on times, dates, and other longer-term things.
Determining values can help steer us toward more fulfilling outcomes, even on a day-to-day basis. If your child is working toward learning to tie their shoes independently, for instance, repetition will help them achieve this more quickly. The downside to a lot of repetition is that you aren’t able to get other values-related tasks done. Putting the things you value most at the front of your list can help tackle important issues first.
Prioritizing times, events, and other things on a schedule can help children with autism understand that a larger-than-normal change is coming. The best way to start developing priorities for your child is by talking to their primary care providers. The insight they will be able to give can help you know what kind of priorities your child will be able to set and maintain.
Making an upcoming change easy to follow and understand can help ease the transition.
Autism School Supply Checklist
Making sure your child has the right supplies for school and any events can make schedules seem easier. How? Because your child will have tools and personal items they know will be used at specific times throughout each school day.
Every program has different requirements for school supplies. Before looking at our general list, you’ll definitely want to look over any list of supplies or materials provided by your child’s school.
The following are general items with brief guidelines to highlight some of the most important things to make sure your child has at school.
- Lunch box. Having a reusable lunch box with compartments may help your child get into a regular lunch routine. Buying several of the same lunch boxes can help if you don’t have time to wash one every day. Compartments in lunchboxes can help your child understand where their regular lunch foods will be every day.
- Comfort Items. Make sure your child has their favorite comfort item to bring to school each day. Things like stuffed animals or a favorite blanket may help your child settle into a comfortable routine at school each day.
- Correct School Supplies. After looking at a supply list provided by your child’s school, go shopping with your child and allow them to pick versions of the supplies they are comfortable with. Remember to buy extras of expendable supplies so they will have the same item they are comfortable with after the first one is done.
- Organized Backpack. A backpack with extra pouches or internal dividers is a great way to set up your child’s bag for easy use that can help them get into a regular school routine. Putting things in the same place can help them remember where their things are throughout the school day.
- Emergency Sheet. Be sure to include any information a teacher, aide, or therapist may need in your child’s bag. This sheet should include any and all information regarding sensory issues, specific behavioral issues, preferences, and anything else they may need to know if your child is having a difficult time.
Parent-Teacher Communication
The best way to ease a child with autism into a new schedule or routine is to have great parent-teacher communication. A child whose parents are preparing them for a specific program will expect that specific program. Having a teacher that follows up is crucial for a smooth transition.
Talking to a teacher or administrator about the needs of your child beforehand can make the changes of a school schedule less turbulent. You should also observe your child’s behaviors before, during, and after school. Their behaviors around their school may indicate how they view the environment, especially if they have issues with communication or speech.
Families should always monitor the behaviors of their children before and after school to determine if anything needs to be looked at or changed.
ABA Therapy from IABA Consultants
If you have questions regarding autism treatment, education, or plans to use ABA therapy, we are here for you! Our goal is to make sure no family is turned away due to financial constraints. Our therapy team would love to talk to you. Find the location closest to you and give us a call. We’re here for you.
